I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
