Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
