dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The air taste purple.
Randomize
