I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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