You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
