There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
