We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
