i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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