That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
