No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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