why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
