Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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