He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
