My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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