butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
