Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
