My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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