theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
