What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
