ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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