Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
