just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so let's talk penis.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
