it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
