Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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