I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize