How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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