they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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