I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
