Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize