Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't deserve a penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
