you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
