i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
