Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
