doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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