someone owes me an orgasm
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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