Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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