you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
