he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
