Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You were trust falling into bushes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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