we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
