Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
