Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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