I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
