drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
