Quick, to the slutcave!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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