Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i permit you to call me
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
