Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize