I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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