There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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