I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pooping to opera.
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