Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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