That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
