My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
