yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
