He asked to "fluff my boner.."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
