You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
