That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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