Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
